Slice of Life Day 18

SOL

If you looked up “jerk” in the dictionary at about 7:00 am this morning, you would have seen my face. I was a total jerk to my middle guy, almost five, normally sweet and hilarious, most-of-the-time good listener, blue eyed cutie, on his third day of having strep throat and being on antibiotics, on his first day, back to school, after being out four days in a row.

There was my yelling and a getting dressed episode which required me to physically put a little boy’s very uncooperative arms and legs into little shirt and jeans. It was NOT pretty.

There was a battle over two halves of chewable Amoxicillin chunks and Apple Jacks which required me to shove said small items into a small, teeth-clenched mouth.  It was NOT pretty.

Me slamming around trying to find my missing keys, tears running down my face, loud sobs coming from a place of intense frustration and guilt. It was NOT pretty.

The thought that Child and Youth Services was going to break down my front door for being such a terrible and impatient Mom. It was NOT pretty.

Three saving graces…hugs and ‘I love yous’ with my guy at drop off, my good friend’s words of reassurance that we all have those mornings, my husband’s response to my text, “You are not a terrible mother babe.”

Sometimes, life is NOT pretty.

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13 thoughts on “Slice of Life Day 18

  1. Your lead was priceless. I happened to be looking in the dictionary about that time, hmmm, no your picture was not there. 🙂 Sometimes life is not pretty, but we take it on anyway. No bad mother here, it will get better.

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  2. Concur with everyone. You do feel really bad after the rage incident, actually you feel bad during it too but at that moment you can’t help yourself. Sometimes I am too harsh with some students at school and even if I don’t yell I can still hear my voice hardening. And then I feel terrible afterward. I guess we are not perfect, our lives and our children’s lives are not perfect – but they are still beautiful.

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  3. First of all, the opening line was perfect.

    2nd of all, I feel like this has been me a few times this year, between antibiotics and tamiflu and other fun additions to the morning routine. I always ruin my day right from the start when giving kids medicine is on the agenda.

    Thanks for writing this.

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  4. Good for you for being reflective mamma….Sometimes just saying ‘I’m sorry…shows that we are real and we are human and frustration is an emotion that everyone has to deal with. I know exactly how you feel and I was feeling out of control sometimes and hated those situations. I picked up the book Peaceful Parent: Stop the Yelling and Start the Connecting (in hopes of “helping” my husband) turns out it has been a solid saving grace for me.

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  5. Aw, man, I’ve had these mornings. I hate myself on these mornings. My heart breaks for you right now because I know so well what this feels like. I find an honest apology always helps… Sorry mommy yelled at you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, and I’ll try to do better.

    Tomorrow is a new day. You’re a great mom. You wouldn’t feel bad if you weren’t.

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  6. You are so right….life is not always pretty. I don’t even have children…and there are many mornings where my face would be under the word jerk too. I appreciate your honesty, and love that you took a crummy morning and turned it into a clever Slice.

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  7. I sure do appreciate all the support of my fellow slicers. Thank you to all of your kind words. Tonight was way better and I got to snuggle with my little man AND bought chocolate pudding to add crushed Amoxicillin too! A good end to a bad beginning. All is well in the world. Xo friends

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  8. Ditto.ditto.ditto.! Don’t beat yourself up…being a mom and having a career at the same time isn’t easy. Remember tomorrow is another day..a chance for a “do over” 🙂

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